It’s All A Part Of The Process....I Think!

So first off, this may seem weird to y’all. But I think it’s a part of my grieving process. Don’t judge me. 😂😂😩 Sometimes, I grab Peyton’s box of things and go through it. I pull everything out and I stare at it all. Sometimes I cry and sometimes I am ok. But I always think about how cute she would be in these little outfits. Some being handed down from big sister and some new. I remember buying each and every one of these outfits for her. I was so excited to dress another little girl. If you know me, you know I LOVE dressing up Tenley. I was planning on being the same way with Peyton. I find myself still shopping for her...🤷🏻‍♀️ Sometimes I will buy Tenley a dress and I will go to grab a newborn or 6 month dress/onesie in a sister set....I even bought a baby blanket the other day from one of my favorite boutiques. WHY??? Why on earth do I do that?? It’s so weird. Even I know that. What am I thinking? It’s just such a waste of money....but then again, it’s me grieving. I am still making plans for a child that isn’t here. And I have this weird thought in my head that maybe God is going to bless us with another little girl. I have her name picked out, her crib bedding and diaper bag picked out...maybe in a weird way, I am even trying to buy clothes for her. It’s so strange. And I know that. I mean, God may not see fit for us to have another...and even if he does, it could be a boy. And of course, I would be thrilled with that. I just feel like a crazy person, honestly. But such is the life of a grieving mother. I definitely don’t think I am the only one that has ever done this. Surly I am not...RIGHT?? 😳 Anyways, just wanted to give you a little look into my day today...and share one of my weird things that I do. I just want you to know, if you feel this same way, if you do this too, it’s OK!! It’s just a part of the process. We aren’t weird, we aren’t crazy. We are grieving. I think it would be strange if we didn’t have these feelings. These things belonged to our babies. It’s normal to want to get it out and look at it, maybe even snuggle up to it. Embrace that feeling and grieve. Pray. Talk to someone about it. Help them understand what you are feeling.